Dan & Kathy Take a Vacation
Thursday, May 26, 2011
 Dan & Kathy in San Antonio (Photo courtesy the Itz (we'll never get lost more than once a day) Touring Service VI.6.1.
Lots of good poems this week, with two special events. First, I have photos by my poet friend from Baltimore, Dan Cuddy and his wife Kathy. Dan and Kathy took a little trip last month, visiting New Orleans, Austin, and San Antonio, and taking pictures along the way.
And my second special event is more pre-publication excerpts by Alex Stolis, from his book in progress, Stanzas. I appreciate Alex giving us this early look and hope as soon as the book is published to be able to tell "Here and Now" readers how to get a copy.
Here's who you'll get to read this week:
Yosano Akiko 13 Tanka from River of Stars
Me maybe some duct tape…
Ana Castillo Saturday Poem 13 Paco and Rosa
Me facing change is an integral part of successful living
James Fenton In a Notebook Vucceria
Me I used to wonder about the purpose of life
Alex Stolis Naked you are as blue as a night in Cuba You’ve vines and stars in your hair Naked you are spacious and yellow As summer in a golden church
Me big news echo I investigate brevity small dreams slip past unnoticed bubble family jewels algebra 1
James Gavin Upslope January Thaw
Me unreliable fictions
From Poetry Daily Linda Pastan Shadblow Bei Dao Landscape Over Zero Wang Ping Syntax
Me a scatter of clouds
Piotr Sommer Short Version Sometimes, Yes Don’t Worry, It Won’t Get Lost
Me the hefty woman has a hearty breakfast
Gerard Malanga The Property Remembering the Berkshires
Me all my creations
From The Best American Poetry, 2003 Louise Gluck Landscape Ishle Yi Park Queen Min Bi
Me touring with Dan and Kathy
Ismael Reed To a Daughter of Isaiah Al Capone in Alaska Untitled Mystery 1st Lady
Me solving the Puss-n-Boots problem
William Childress Antelope Child Apache
Me Little Darlin’
Nikki Giovanni Atrocities
Me random passes at self-knowing
Gabriel Celaya The Life One Leads
Me a brief history of cats and the human race
Richard Brautigan against conformity and averageism maggots eating my brains all the cities at once a memory of life will be frozen in my eyes phantom kiss white tiger and enchanted cave the death of time
Me road sign
Daniel Donaghy Fresh Start: Staining the Pool Deck
Me here come da judge
 San Antonio, Downtown Photo by Kathy Cuddy
I start this week with the poetry of Yosano Akiko, from the collection of her work, River of Stars, published by Shambhala in 1996.
Akiko was the pen-name of a Japanese author, poet, pioneering feminist, pacifist, and social reformer. She was active in the late Meiji period as well as the Taishō and early Showa periods of Japan. Her real name was Yosano Shô. Born in to a rich merchant family in 1878, she is one of the most famous, and most controversial (for her erotic poetry), post-classical woman poets of Japan. She died in 1942. As her death occurred in the middle of the Pacific War, it went largely unnoticed in the press, and after the end of the war, her works were largely forgotten by critics and the general public. However, in recent years, her romantic, sensual style has come back into popularity and she has an ever increasing following.
The poems in the book were translated by Sam Hamill and Kieko Matsui Gibson.
Although the book includes some of her longer work, Akiko was most widely known for her tanka. Those are the poems I will concentrate on this week. I'll look to the longer poems in future weeks.
Immersed in my hot bath like a lovely lily growing in a spring my twenty-year-old body - so beautiful, so sublime.
~~~
Fresh from my hot bath, I dressed slowly before the tall mirror, a smile for my own body/ Innocent so long ago!
~~~
Wet with spring rain, my lover finally comes to my poor house like a woman in love under trees of pink blossoms.
~~~
Gently, I open the door to eternal mystery, the flowers of my breasts cupped, offered with both my hands.
~~~
Following his bath I gave my handsome lover my best purple robe to protect him from the cold. He blushed, and was beautiful.
~~~
So all alone beside the temple bell: I stole away to secretly meet you here. But now the fog has cleared.
~~~
By a nameless stream, small and very beautiful, last night spent alone - those broad, desolate fields in the harsh summer dawn.
~~~
Raindrops continue to fall on white lotus leaves. While my lover paints, I open the umbrella on his little boat.
~~~
Like a summer flower, fragile as its slender stem, love wastes me away. Yet I shall blossom, crimson under the bright noonday sun.
~~~
Don't complain tome, don't hesitate, just hurry to meet those soft hands that are patiently waiting to help you out of your clothes.
~~~
His hand on my neck, he whispers softly of love. Dawn. Wisteria. No way I can detain him, my one-night-only lover!
~~~
Testing, tempting me forever, those youthful lips barely touching the frosty drops of dew on a white lotus blossom.
~~~
A handsome oarsman and an impeccable young priest aboard - oh,how I despise the bright moonlight on our lotus-viewing boat.
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
Every old redneck-hippy-beatnik-cowboy has to come down some time.
maybe some duct tape...
it was about 1:30 in the p.m. and I’d had my lunch
- tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of Fritos -
and I was thinking, jeez, I can’t think of a damn thing to do this afternoon, having watered the flowers and taken my daily dose of mid-day sun and washed the dishes and swept and vacuumed and planned the menu for dinner tonight
- that being not a big issue, involving only a quick check on the computer to find the shortest route to the nearest Popeye's -
and there I was in the bathroom, trimming my beard
- having decided a couple of weeks ago to cut it down to bristle level every three or so days, it doesn’t involve taking up a major portion of a dead afternoon -
and looking at my near-naked face in the mirror the thought came to me that I hadn’t see my head, that is, the shape and curvature of it, and the various bumps and hollows usually hidden under my hair, since the first day of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio a little more than 45 years ago
and the thought occurred to me that a fella ought to see his head, size and shape and bumps and so forth, more than once every 45 years and that having done all my chores with nothing else to do, it only made sense to go down and get all my hair cut off
and I did
and now I can say it’s positively true that there’s absolutely nothing especially interesting about my head except for all the skin showing through which I don’t remember from 45 years ago and I’m already suspecting I really don’t like my head all that much at all…
but I figure what the hell, hats are cheap
- free, actually, in many places if you promise to buy a John Deere tractor next time you need a farm implement -
of course, the hat won’t do anything about the ears …
maybe some duct tape…
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
Here are three poems by Ana Castillo from her book My Father Was a Toltec, Selected Poems 1973-1988. The book was published W.W. Norton in 1995.
Born in 1953, Castillo grew up speaking Spanish in a working-class Italian neighborhood in Chicago. Her parents sent her to a secretarial high school, but her lack of interest and poor typing skills led her to pursue higher education at Chicago City College and then Northern Illinois University where she completed a bachelor's degree in liberal arts in 1975. Supporting herself by serving as a college lecturer and a writer-in-residence for the Illinois Arts Council, Castillo then worked toward her master’s degree in Latin American and Caribbean studies at the University of Chicago, where she completed her degree 1979. The years that followed were filled with a variety of short-term college teaching positions, until 1991, when she received a doctorate in American studies from the University of Bremen in Germany.
She has received many awards and honors for her poetry and her novels.
Saturdays c. 1968
Because she worked all week away from home, gone from 5 to 5, Saturdays she did the laundry, pulled the wringer machine to the kitchen sink, and hung the clothes out on the line. At night, we took it down and ironed. Mine were his handkerchiefs and boxer shorts. She did his work pants (never worn on the street) and shirts,pressed the collars and cuffs, just so - as he bathed, donned the tailor-made silk suit bought on her credit, had her adjust the tie.
"How do I look?" "Bien," went on ironing. That's why he married her, a Mexican woman,, like his mother, not like they were in Chicago, not like the one he was going out to meet.
Poem 13
i too can say good-bye effortlessly silently remove myself from an undesired space turn about face march forward never look over my shoulder control memory erase unnecessary experience deromanticize romance wind tomorrow around me without company (freeze my womb) publicize my birth given name i too can be my mother's child become my father's extension improved upon gesticulate courage profess pride am worth that much i too could live satisfied with all my acts content amidst my ignorance.
Paco and Rosa
"AS SOON AS THE CHILDREN ARE OUT OF SCHOOL. I'LL COME," Rosa shouts over static from La Barca to Chicago. "GOOD." says her husband, hangs up,sighs.
Tonight he won't shave, slap on Christmas cologne, press down his hair. He won't go to the Paraiso Club with his brother or to the corner tavern where a man gets lost in the smell of hairspray on a woman whose name he'd rather not know.
Instead, hands behind his head, he thinks of Rosa who smells like his children the meat-packing plant where she worked between babies, the summer they met, La Barca by the sea. Rosa, who smells like home.
 Austin Photo by Dan Cuddy
It's an old poem, but still I seek the surety I did not find in this instance.
facing change is an integral part of successful living
bought new boots yesterday, down at Sears, high top lace-ups, the kind you’d wear for some un- serious hiking while trying to look like you’re just fooling around, taking a break after crossing the Kilimanjaro or some deep African jungle
they were on sale which makes them look pretty good even though they’re tight, stiff and unyielding and pinch my toes like briar-thorn socks
but wore them all day anyway
breaking them in
cause that’s what you gotta do with change in all aspects of your life
face it
stare it down
make change your friend.....
bullshit!
my feet hurt
 Austin, South Congress Photo by Dan Cuddy
My next two poems are by James Fenton. They are from his book, Children in Exile, Poems 1968-1984.The book was published by The Noonday Press in 1994.
Fenton, born in 1949, is an English poet, journalist, literary critic, and former Oxford Professor of Poetry.
His first collection of poems, Terminal Moraine won a Gregory Award in 1972. With the proceeds, he traveled to East Asia, where he wrote of the U.S. withdrawal from Vietnam, and the end of the Lon Nol regime in Cambodia which presaged the rise of Pol Pot. From that experience, he wrote Memory of War, which earned his reputation as a major war poet.
He returned to London in 1976 where he became political correspondent of the New Statesman, where he worked alongside Christopher Hitchens, Julian Barnes and Martin Amis.
In a Notebook
There was a reiver overhung with trees With wooden houses built along its shallows From which the morning sun drew up a haze And the gyrations of the early swallows Paid no attention to the gentle breeze Which spoke discreetly from the weeping willows. There was a jetty by the forest clearing Where a small boat was tugging at its mooring.
And night still lingered underneath the eaves. In the dark houseboats families were stirring And Chinese soup was cooked on charcoal stoves. Then one by one there came into the clearing Mothers and daughters bowed beneath their sheaves. The silent children gathered round me staring And theshy soldiers setting out for battle Asked for a cigarette and laughed a little.
From low canoes old men laid out their nets While on the bank young boys with lines were fishing. The wicker traps were drawn up by their floats. The girls stood waist-deep in the river washing Or tossed the day's rice on enamel plates And I sat drinking bitter coffee wishing The tide would turn to bring me to my senses After the pleasant war and ;t;he evasive answers.
There was a river overhung with trees. The girls stood-waist deep in the river washing, The night still lingered underneath the eaves While on the bank young boys with lines were fishing. Mothers and daughters bowed beneath their sheaves While I sat drinking bitter coffee wishing - And the tide turned and brought me to my senses. The pleasant war brought the unpleasant answers.
The villages were burnt, the cities void; The morning light has left the river view; The distant followers have been dismayed; And I'm afraid, reading this passage now, That everything I knew has been destroyed By those whom I admired but never knew; The laughing soldiers fought to their defeat And I'm afraid most of my friends are dead.
Vucceria
Maybe this summer I shall visit Palermo And see if the Shanghai restaurant is still there And if you can still buy cartons of contraband Cigarettes in the triangular square Beneath. At evening the horses are undressed From top to toe, in the nude light-bulbs glare. They leave their skeletons ever so neatly folded And piled. Look ! there's a pair of socks, Crimson with two black clocks. O no it isn't. It's a flayed head on a a bedside chair
 San Antonio, Riverwalk Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Big questions - that's what my poetry is about, the big questions.
I used to wonder about the purpose of life
I used to wonder about the purpose of life and my place in it…
now I wonder why I’m standing in front of the Frigidaire at 6:30 in the morning, door open, refrigerated light illuminating all the staples, ketchup mustard Miracle Whip Stubbs BBQ sauce liver sausage and punkmunster cheese along with a week’s worth of leftovers in varying shades of green…
then I see them…
my keys...
and now I wonder how my keys got into the refrigerator and why I knew to look for them there in the first place
and thus begins another week in a life of mystery, my purpose in it clearly to appreciate the ever-expanding horizons of my confusion
 San Antonio Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Here's another treat, poems by my friend, Alex Stolis, from his book in progress, Stanzas, based on the love poems of Pablo Neruda. As I told Alex at one point, I was not a big fan of Neruda until I read his love poems, some of the finest, I think, ever written. Alex has taken one of Neruda's sonnets, brilliant in its own right, and used it as inspiration for his work.
Each of these poems and each poem in his in-progress book (including both English and Spanish stanzas) is/will be based on a line from Neruda's sonnet, Morning-Sonnet - XXVII.
Naked you are blue as a night in Cuba Durmiendo a mi lado: que son de color azul oscuro como el cielo al atardecer antes de que las estrellas tienen la oportunidad de despertar. Usted es azul como el mar de verano, cuando toma una respiración profunda. Our first date: a park on the corner of Chicago and 34th , it was the first real week of spring, the sun barely awake. You say you like wide open spaces: plenty of room to make the really big mistakes. You are leaning against a tree, reading Veinte poemas de amor. I approach and you tuck your hair behind your ear, stuff the book in your back pocket, walk toward me. You wear a pair of faded Levi’s, a threadbare sweater your grandmother made for you, the top button missing. I didn’t know then she was dying. Your hair is loose, just past your shoulders, there is a whisper of gray among auburn I hadn’t noticed before. Not knowing quite what to do I give you an awkward hug. In that one second I notice: your hair has the scent of fresh cut lilacs, there’s a heart-shaped mole on your hairline, a robin flies overhead, your hands are delicate, the nail on your right middle finger bitten down, your skin is a smooth white, your eyes are pale with thin, long lashes. As my hand slides down your back two children jump off a swing and run by us, you turn to watch them as my hand falls away, smile and ask me a question I forget before you are even finished. We walk and you tell me how you like to paint: quiet greens for past sins, gravel roads and unplowed fields; dull yellows for loss, for your grandmother’s house and the memory of your father; brilliant blues for a lover you have yet to meet and soft grays, not the gray of sadness but of a sleeping sky, of a path once forgotten then rediscovered in spring. **Sleeping next to me: you are dark blue as the sky at dusk before stars have a chance to awake. You are blue as the sea when summer takes a deep breath. You've vines and stars in your hair Quiero dormir con sus pensamientos, sueños vivos, persiguen su piel, la caricia de su ronda pezones con la palma de mi mano, sentir el roce de los labios sobre mis nudillos. your hands are of the earth, your hips round as the moon, your breasts, ripe and full. But first, let me tell you how I love you: how you are spring, words that fill a blank page, you are the branch of a tree, the beautiful small moment before a kiss. Let me tell you how I want to share my skin, my blood with you, every breath. How I want us to make love gently; fuck, fiercely as if we are the last two lovers on earth. I want to be still, aware, feel the beat of time on your smooth thigh; know that our future is an origami swan we unfold again and again. **I want to sleep with your thoughts, dream them alive; haunt your skin, caress your round nipples with the flat of my palm, feel the brush of lips over my knuckles. Naked you are spacious and yellow Si alguna vez me olvide lo que su voz suena como el cielo se abrió de golpe y me va a envolver el memoria en su caparazón; sueñan el mismo sueño una y otra vez. I wake in the middle of a dream, it’s ten minutes before the alarm goes off: we’re in Mexico, rock hounding and beach combing, upsetting buckets of sand. After one week: lipstick traces on empty glasses, every cliché in the book seems brand new and still, we don’t believe it as it happens. You run your fingertips along my forearm and its all I need to forget what we came through. We don’t have to hide because the world will never find us in plain sight. Doubt evaporates with the dew. On the fringe of the city is a tavern with vinyl covered bar stools, rust colored tiles and beer in long neck bottles. Friday becomes a layer of dust covering the floor, a neon clock flickers in 4/4 time and cash is king. We wait for last call, one last chance before night is ready to fall into bed. Believing becomes simple and we are the last hope in town. Week two: every night, much of what you say is unexpected, it is what I want to hear but didn't really know until it was said out loud. Late turns into too early and we are armed and ready for anything. There is the garbage truck alarm clock, the smell of cooking, sounds of the city morning combined with exhaust. Dirt and grime mixed with laughter at our pigeon Spanish asking quietly for the time of the hour or where is the blue of the sea. Silence opens up doors and you prop open the windows for good karma; we make love as two weeks folds itself into three. At four we decide we’ve collected enough luck to stretch into the next two lifetimes. We’ve shared every bit of honesty between the sheets Everything is just right, baby. Morning songs roll into evening songs, then comes the rain; by the time we’re finished, we’ll have plenty of time to catch up with ourselves. **If I ever forget what your voice sounds like the sky will burst open and I will wrap your memory in its shell; dream the same dream over and over. As summer in a golden church Imagínese nosotros, junto al mar, en una casa de los depósitos. Usted podrá degustar la sal en mi piel, coloque su mano en mi corazón y escuchar el mar. When someday becomes today: it will be quiet, the wind will scoop up our every thought. I will feel the round of your breasts against my back as you sleep. The oceans will become silent; salt water and sand sifts through our fingers. You will laugh and tell me there is still so much time but kiss me quickly to save the moment. Night coughs to an empty start, the dense breath of summer colors your cheek. My fingers run through your hair, trees watch, in silent prayer. We become still. Wrapped in each other’s bodies, we create a new language; vowels and consonants no longer necessary
**Imagine us, by the sea, in a house of shells. You will taste the salt on my skin, place your hand on my heart and listen to the ocean.
 San Antonio, Riverwalk Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Here a few more of my little short poems from 2007.
big news
giant prehistoric bird found no sign yet of companion Sylvestesaures
echo
dry well echoes
with memories
of water precious and sweet . . . . old man sleeps
dreams echo
with memories precious and sweet
I investigate brevity
I’ve been getting really tired of my going on and going on poems and think maybe readers are also so I decided I oughta write a short one
this is it
small dreams slip past unnoticed
don't dream too large tonight
they know who the dreamers are
and they are watching
bubble
dark clouds all around while we in a sunshine bubble bask
family jewels
flames illuminate as they burn as secrets unfold in the brilliance of combustion
algebra 1
I remember my algebra teacher in 1959 writing equations on the blackboard her back to the class
at least 40 years old, ancient, still, the most perfectly beautiful legs
 LBJ Ranch Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Now I have two short poems by James Gavin, a Colorado native now living in Wyoming, winner of numerous honors and awards for both his poetry and his prose, and a member of the permanent faculty of the University of Iowa Writer's Workshop.
The poems are from his book X: Poems, published by Copper Canyon Press in 2003.
Upslope
To say that you exaggerate would be an understatement. Cars lick the rainslick street. Author, authority, Master, mastery, If I wear glasses am I more spectacular? Tweezer-brain causality. When you left I woke, and it was my whole life I woke from. Upslope, geography offers history few options. We are something's awareness, Awareness of for, for instance. God saves us in the sorrow of knowing him.
January Thaw
Winter snowpack is not your jazz. You can't riff it over and you can't take it back Once it's out of the horn. Bright as tears but much more boring, Your constants without variants Mewl from the eaves. That's why the fish is full of the sea. Just out of curiosity, How many times did you kiss me Without meaning it? Don't be shy, it's out of the horn. Turn your back on the past And you're gone.
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
One of my housemates on Bluelines House of 30 wrote a poem which led me to thinking, which led to this.
unreliable fictions
so, amid all the unreliable fictions we tell ourselves to define the lives we live, lived, want to live, sometimes, it is a stable platform we seek, some place to stand that doesn’t blow in the fictive winds of illusion, or disillusion, all the things we believe one week and mock the next, as the winds blow…
where is the center, we think, where is the true hub around which all the elements flail in contradiction…
we make stories of our lives to better endure them, the days of our lives unreeling, as we, creatures of confusion, creators of clarity through constantly re-juggling of plot and character, abide in rewrites and edits until something makes sense…
and for a day or two we know a new self, until the elements start to stir and spin again and we have to re-hem our stories to fit
until next time
 New Orleans, on the Mississippi Photo by Dan Cuddy
Next, I have three poets from the anthology Poetry Daily, a collection of 366 poems from different poets taken from the Poetry Daily website, poems.com. I spend my web time at a similar site, "Blueline's House of 30," the difference being, I think, that at the Blueline every housemate is expected to post a poem a day in 30-day cycles. Some poets come for a cycle or two, then leave, never to return. Some come for a cycle, check out to take care of other business, then come back for more. Some of us just kind of hang on. By the time this is posted, I will have completed my 59th 30-day cycle of poems and I'm not the one with the longest string of daily poems. That honor of stick-to-it-tiveness belongs to the Hawaiian (fomerly L.A.) poet Alice Folkart who is indefatigable and a constant amazement every day.
The book includes no biographical information on the various poets. Considering that there are 366 of them, I guess I can understand that. But, if the poets agreed to appear there with no bio, I'm guessing the same is acceptable here.
So, for those who feel you must know, I'm turning you over to Wikipedia. I'm interested and will do a Google search myself; I'm just not going to share the information here.
The first poet from the anthology is Linda Pastan.
Shadblow
Because the shad are swimming in our waters now,
breaching the skin of the river with their tarnished silvery fins,
heading upstream straight for out tables where already
knives and forks gleam in anticipation, these trees
into flower - small, white flags surrendering to the season.
The second poem is by Bei Dao.
Landscape Over Zero
it's hawk teaching song to swim it's song tracing back to the first wind
we trade scraps of joy enter family from different directions
it's a father confirming darkness it's darkness leading to that lightning of the classics
a door of weeping slams shut echoes chasing its cry
it's a pen blossoming in lost hope it's a blossom resisting the inevitable route
it's love's gleam waking to light up landscape over zero
And now, my last poem from the anthology is by Wang Ping.
Syntax
She walks to a table She walk to table
She is walking to a table She walk to table now
What difference does it make What difference it make
In Nature, no completeness No sentence really complete thought
Language, like woman Look best when free, undressed.
 Austin, South Congress Photo by Dan Cuddy
It was a particularly nice day, and I remember the clouds.
a scatter of clouds
a scatter of small white clouds on the horizon, white, the whitest clouds I’ve ever seen, white, like little flags against the blue sky, white flags, like the sky is surrendering to the earth, the eternal war of earth against sky, heaven against earth, concluded, won by the base elements of earth, the grass and trees, oceans and rivers, animals large and small, earthworms burrowing in the dirt and humankind, self-proclaimed master of all that won and the birds, with their split loyalties circling in confusion
 San Antonio Riverwalk Photo by Kathy Cuddy
I picked up two very interesting books at the half-priced bookstore today. I'll use poems from both this week, beginning with Continued, a book of poems by Polish poet Piotr Sommer.
Born in 1948, Sommer grew up in Otwock, a small town outside o Warsaw. He studied English at the University of Warsaw, and now edits Literatura na Swiecie (World Literature), a Polish magazine of international writing.
He is a poet, translator, anthology editor and essayist. He regularly gives lectures at American universities and has gained various awards. As well as eight collections of poetry in his own language, he has had two collections published in translation.
He also translates from British, Irish and American literature, including works by Allen Ginsberg and Seamus Heaney.
His anthology of work by the American poet Frank O’Hara is seen by many as one of the most important of his translations. This publication appeared in 1987 and led to a small poetical war between the young experimental group of poets influenced by O’Hara, known as “The Barbarians”, and their opponents “The Neo-Classicists”, who defended more traditional Polish poetry.
Short Version
I couldn't be with you when you died. Sorry, I was toiling day and night on the title of a poem I didn't have time to show you. You really would have liked it.
Even if the poem itself wasn't the strongest, I was counting on the title to prop it up from above, to set it right even, and to sanction it
as sometimes happens, I don't know if the muse ever had time to give you the news
because when I called it was already late, through finally she took the whole message.
Sometimes, Yes
After reading certain young authors I too would like to be an author and turn out works. Right now I'm thinking of J.G.- his happy rhymes, cinematic sentences and the heroes in his poems, the real ones and those made up. Because of course poems have their heroes as well. some not even all that likable. Of the real ones for instance, I recall Ezra Pound, whose name appears in one of the titles, or that Mid-November Show which, before it melted, the akurhor thinks had blanketed all the evil. Of the unreal ones Kirillow, a suicide and yet a builder, or that professor, what's his name, a scholar of seventy now.
And I, what would I write poems about? I'd have to think, because in fact I'm fed up with them. I ask my wife but she just repeats "What about?" a if she weren't there. And a moment later adds, "But if I tell you what about, you'll say we both wrote it, all right?" I muse - she says - remind her about it in the future, since a person may sometimes really get hold of an idea, but most of the time it flies off.
Don't Worry, It Won't Get Lost
How could I fail to understand how you feel even if personally I never lost a PKO bankbook with my life saving in it. Yet meanwhile the radio's on, and glancing through the window I see, on the empty street, a forty-year-old with whom yesterday I sat for a few years on the same school bench, the knocking of the mangle is heard under the floor, and even on the balcony clothesline a brown-and-white butterfly has landed.I have some shopping to do, a train to catch, there's only a few dozen zlotys in my pocket, but the keys jingle when I brush them, the street is getting peopled, pockets are filling up.
 San Antonio, Riverwalk Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Ranging now between 235 and 240 pounds I feel much better than I did at my peak 280. But that doesn't mean I eat whatever I want whenever I want. I remember how easy it was to go up and how hard to come down. So, being always aware of my own intake, I'm also conscious of what others eat, often what I'd like to eat, but don't.
the hefty woman has a hearty breakfast
she’s kind of hefty, well north of stout, I’m saying, but judging from the three eggs, scrambled, and stack of buttermilk pancakes she's packing in for breakfast, it doesn’t seem to bother her
meanwhile, being no lightweight myself, I stick to my more responsible nature with porridge in skimmed milk and a single piece of dry toast
and feel quite at peace with myself for it, judging not the stout woman for her pleasure in the morning, finding it admirable in fact to see her fortitude in the face of such tribulation as her continued absence of a view of her feet, jealous, a little, of her full and hearty breakfast in comparison to my prisoner-of-war ration
and though she seems such a healthy happy person, despite her disregard for her own well-being and the feelings of all the stoutish people around her sticking to their dank dungeon swill while she engages breakfast like a skinny person, it seems she mocks our own efforts at adipose reduction, which is why we all hate that fat woman and her three eggs, scrambled, and full stack of buttermilk pancakes
damn fat woman!
and on top of everything else she will probably outlive us all
 San Antonio, Mission Concepcion Photo by Kathy Cuddy
The second of the books I mentioned earlier is No Respect - New and Selected Poems, 1964-2000 by Gerard Malanga.
Malanga, born in 1943 in the Bronx, is an poet, photographer, filmmaker, curator and archivist. He graduated from the School of Industrial Art in Manhattan and attended Wagner College on Staten Island.
In addition to his many books of poetry, Malanga was Andy Warhol's assistant from 1963 to 1970 and as an actor, had lead parts in many of his early films. He danced with the Exploding Plastic Inevitable, Warhol's multimedia presentation of the Velvet Underground and claims to have created some of the works attributed to Warhol. In 1970, he left Warhol's studio to work on his own.
He is also known for his photography of 60's celebrities, including poets, rock stars, and actors.
The Property
What happened to the frost on the pipes? the windows of the cottage darken In another reality children's voices enter and then disappear for a moment it is morning in late summer Benno is pulling up weeds Don waiting for the water to boil for a cup of coffee to start the day Irene walks across the lawn to the Stone House or she doesn't an occasional car pulls up to the driveway
the scene changes there is snow on the ground almost blue in the moonlight the end of the driveway touches darkness the kitchen is an absence What happened to the children's voices What happened that I should see the changes I think I become invisible I am mistaken. I am correct.
Remembering the Berkshires
I think of the third day snow had fallen it was still falling at night when I returned
the snowbound tracks and bridges are a dream the embankment is black the log of a fir tree uprooted
though only oe year has gone by a stream has emerged from the thicket at night
in a house on a mountain someone is turning out the light some one is going to sleep at last
now the moon is in Capricorn shadows fade toward morning the days move on like a diary everything is still the same but something is different and it is myself
and the pressure of the wind increases.
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
A lesson from me to me for me.
all my creations
I am sometimes one of those who sees the world and all that’s in it as mere constructs of my own ego, creations that ebb and flow according to my attention - all the bloody bright and banal things of this world, a spring breeze a summer sneeze autumn leaves that fall to winter freeze - all products of my needs and predilections, and all of you, shadows cast to populate my shadow land, formed by my need for structure, solidity, reality as defined by me, all ending at my end, a world crashing as I begin to fade
I saw today, as I was stopped at a traffic light, a young man at a bus stop get up from his bench to kneel and pull stray weeds from cracks in the sidewalk cement, creating a new world in a small, but true way
and I was shamed
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
Next I have two poets from The Best American Poetry - 2003, publised by Scribner Poetry.
The first of the poets is Louise Gluck.
Born in New York City in 1943, is the author of ten books of poetry. Her collection of essays, Proofs and Theories, won the PEN-Martha Albrand Award. She has also received the Pulitzer Prize, the Bobbit National Poetry Prize, the National Book Critics Circle Award and the Bollingen Prize. She teaches at Williams College. She was one of the anthology's guest editors.
Landscape
Time passed, turning everything to ice. Under the ice, the future stirred. If you fell into it you died.
It was a time of waiting of suspended action.
I lived in the present which was that part of the future you could see. The past floated above my head, like the sun and moon, visible but never reachable.
It was a time governed by contradictions as in I felt nothing and I was afraid.
Winter emptied the trees, filled them again with snow. Because I couldn't feel, snow fell, the lake froze over. Because i was afraid, I didn't ' move; my breath was white, a description of silence.
Time passed and some of it became this. And some of it simply evaporated; you could see it float above the white trees forming particles of ice.
All you lie, you wait for the propitious time. Then the propitious time reveals itself as action taken.
I watched the past move, a line of clouds moving from left to right or right to left, depending on the wind. Some days
there was no wind. The clouds seemed to stay where they were, like a painting of the sea, more still than real.
Some days the lake was a sheet of glass. Under the glass, the future made demure, inviting sounds; you had to tense yourself so as not to listen.
Time passed, you got to see a piece of it. The years it took with it were years of winter; they would not e missed. Some days
there were no clouds, as though the sources of the past had vanished. The world
was bleached, like a negative; the light passed directly through it. Then the image faded.
Above the world there was only blue, blue everywhere.
The second poem from the "best of" anthology is by Ishle Yi Park, a young Korean-American poet featured often in "Here and Now" with poems from her own book.
Queen Min Bi
Queen Min was the bomb. Smooth forehead, perfectly parted thick hair, and plum lips at fourteen enough to make any pedophile happy. So the King handpicked her,
orphan Korean girl born in Yulju, stringless, to ba a royal marionette - who would hav guessed she owned a wooden heart to match any politician's?
Maybe she abused her handservants. Maybe she pumped into her husband doggy style with an early bamboo Korean strap-on and that's why she never had children.
Maybe that made Hwang so happy even after she died, throat sliced open by invading Japanese, he carved her name into a slab of man-sized marble by hand, honoring a woman who snatched his kingdom
without a glance back at history, what those scrolls dictated for female behavior. I want to be like her befriending pale- skinned foreigners and infuriating her father-in-law
enough for him to conspire toward her death while commoners rested head to stone pillow and dreamt of her brow-raising power; 16 when she married, 32 when she died -
before Japanese flags cloaked our country, before Korean housewives lay beaten without domestic violence laws to halfway shield their swollen faces. Half a world away
nisei Korean children flinch at the smack of skin on skin, memorize the hiss of curses like bullets, and I wish she were more than dust and legend, more than a sold-out opera at Lincoln Center
or part of a wistful poem; I want to inherit that tiger part of her, the part that got her killed, the part that inflamed my eyes and had me tracing the clay walls of her birthplace with fingers in the rain, wanting
to collect and construct a woman out of myth. So by Chinese calendar she's a rabbit, her favorite drink was macculi, the moonshine of Korea,her left breast slightly heavier than her right
and maybe she kissed her husband Kwang on the forehead before overtaking his kingdom, Queen Min Bi, so loved by all they called her Mama.
 LBJ Ranch Photo by Kathy Cuddy
And another lesson.
touring with Dan and Kathy
lunch with a Housemate and his spouse, and dinner and a city tour in between -
art museum and missions and favorite coffeehouse along the way
a city seen for the first time for them; seen anew by me
all the places I knew yesterday, known better to me to day…
as I celebrate my home through its showing
 San Antonio, Mission Concepcion Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Here's a couple of short poems by Ismael Reed, from his News and Collected Poems published in 1989 by Atheneum.
To a Daughter of Isaiah
I saw your drumming lover On the tube last night His wrists had been riveted He made faces, like Jazz Was a dentist His gutbucket was Straight from the Academy That is, you couldn't Grind to it (Matthew Arnold, blowing His nose)
He drummed, I summed You up while helping white Wine get better: Your juicy Ethiopian art Lips (my, my) Your moans. What moans! Even the ceiling over the bed Got hard
This happened way back in a book You were my daughter of Isaiah I was your flail and crook
Al Capone in Alaska
or hoodoo ecology vs the judeo- christian tendency to let em have it!
The Eskimo hunts the whale & each year the whale flowers for the Eskimo. This must be love baby! One receiving with respect from a Giver who has plenty. There is no hatred here There is One Big Happy Family here.
American & Canadian Christians submachine gun the whales. They gallantly sail out & shoot them as if the Pacific were a Chicago garage on St. Valentine's day
Untitled
law isn't all The driver's test Says nothing about dogs, but people stop anyway
Mystery 1st Lady
franklin pierce's wife never came downstairs. she never came upstairs either.
 San Antonio, Garden, McNay Art Museum Photo by Kathy Cuddy
It's the little mysteries of life that make it so interesting.
solving the Puss-n-Boots problem
I’ve seen the little Puss-n-Boots action figure on the counter for several days, always lying on its side or back and I tried several times to set it upright but it is top-heavy and always falls down and I finally admitted defeat and don’t bother with it anymore
so I am surprised when I come in this morning and see it standing on its feet, leaning against the tip jar
I am curious so I look closely, and finally see it is taped with nearly invisible scotch tape to the jar itself
the young oriental barista sees me looking and knowing what I’m looking for, whispers, “Asian engineering,” as he handed me my change and he laughs and I laugh and consider that had it been American engineering that solved the problem, ol’ Puss-n-Boots would have been wrapped in duct tape from his puss to his boots
but that’s about economics and everyone knows economics is boring and not for poetic examination
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
I have two poems by William Childress from Burning the Years/Lobo, a re-publication in 1986 by Essai Seay Publications of two of Childress' previous books in one volume.
Childress was born Oklahoma in 1933, the oldest son of a poor family of migrant sharecroppers. An accomplished writer, author, poet, and photojournalist, he joined the Army at age 18, serving in the Korean War as a demolitions specialist in 1952. After the war he reenlisted as a paratrooper, making 33 jumps. Three honorable discharges later, Childress attended Fresno State College in California, studying English and Journalism, and set a record as the only undergraduate to publish poetry, fiction and photojournalism in national magazines. This helped him get two fellowships to the University of Iowa Writers Workshop and a Master of Fine Arts degree. His thesis later became his first book of poems, Lobo.
The two poems I'm using this week are from his second book, Burning the Years. The inspiration for the poems come from a time, as a ten-year-old, he lived with his family in Arizona near and Apache Indian Reservation where he spent most of his time, learning and loving the culture and the stories. "Many years later," he says in introducing the poems, "I romanticized what was, as I look back, a bleak and poverty-stricken way of life" that,nevertheless, continued to fire his imagination for many years after, to the point that, some years later, he began to imagine himself as an "Indian poet."
Antelope Child
Hell is the southwestern desert in August; the crack of wind against hot rocks, the birds who won't light for fear their feet will remain. It is tdhe lime-green of Spanish daggers peeled and split by the sun; air that burns the lungs like smoke, and hollow rocks where stagnant water simmers.
It was here in such summers that I ran, a brown child mocking the desert antelope, nor was I part of the white and pampered world, for I was wild. In a hut of dry withes, my fat mother and somber father fed me stewed coyote, and I grew. Nothing more need be said.
Apache
Mescalero I am, Athapascan I speak, a language as dead as my people are dying. I ran as a youth past the Reservation bounds, only finding again as a man. For garden, the desert, the walls, the hills, and beyond, horizons as wide as the sun. A nomad for decades, I saw many things, but the red, severed gorges still bled in my dreams and the serrated ridges near the hut I was born in were the clouds of each moonrise, the flesh of each sunrise. So I went back one time, but the hut had decayed, and the hard earth grew only jade prickly-pear. And I ate the sweet buds of that green plant, and the walls fell again and again I was gone.
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
I am, truly, a lover of children, I promise. Usually.
I posted this poem somewhere and got an very angry response from a mother who had just lost a child. Made me feel terrible, but, you know, it's just a poem and it really was a very bratty kid.
little darlin’
there’s this kid who has started to come in with her mother every afternoon about two o’clock who, within her skinny little five year old body, harbors the loudest, sharpest, most fingernail-on-the blackboard voice to ever assault the tender parts of my ears
I’m not normally one to contemplate violence against children but this kid pushes me to the brink, the very edge of my tolerance, to that point where the nice kindly peaceful cherub cheeked animal-loving child-doting man I by nature am could easily explode in a moment of bloody slavering murder and mayhem
basically after a minute and a half of what has become a daily ritual of curly haired doe eyed cacophonic squawking like a myna bird with a heavy metal amp I want to strangle the child or the mother. either one really, I don’t care, as long as the kid shuts up
now I realize this little monster is someone’s beloved daughter and granddaughter, the apple, likely, of many eyes, somebody’s sun on cloudy days, another’s moon on a starless night, a new little life placed on this world to someday take the place of old folks like me and maybe you, a new life sent here maybe to save the world from the careless hands of the likes of you and I
I understand all this and in recognition of it I will not chase the kid down and apply to her skinny little neck the boa con- strictor trick I learned while trekking alone through the steamy jungles of Borneo
no, I will not do that, at least not as long as she remains on the other side of the room
but if the little ogre ever comes within arm’s length she will experience the epiphany of her young life as the fearsome wrath of an old man disturbed in his afternoon nap becomes plain to her
 San Antonio, Garden, McNay Art Museum Photo by Kathy Cuddy
An old book is like a time capsule. Here's one from the capsule by Nikki Giovanni. The book, My House, was published by Quill in 1983.
The poem, written in 1971, is from a darker, more dangerous time, when conspiracy and counter-conspiracy ruled the day. The problem with that kind of environment is that, just as paranoids sometimes have real enemies, conspiracies are sometimes real conspiracy. Unfortunately, it takes forty years to begin to figure out which were which.
Atrocities
in an age of napalmed children with words like the enemy is whatever moves as an excuse for killing vietnamese infants
at a time when one president one noble prize winner one president's brother four to six white students dozen of Black students and various hippies could be corralled maimed and killed
in a day when the c.i.a. could hire Black hands to pull the trigger on malcolm
during a decade that saw eight nurses in chicago sixteen people at the university of texas along with the boson strangler do a fantastic death dance matched only by the murders of john coltrane sonny liston jimi hendrixs and janis joplin
in a technological structure where featherstone and che would be old-fashioned bombed
at a moment when agnew could define hard and soft drugs on the basis of his daughter's involvement with them
in a nation where eugene robinson could testify against his own panther recruits and eldrridge cleaver could expel a martyr from the martyr's creation where the president who at least knows the law would say manson who at least tried is guilty
it is only natural that joe frazier would emerge
[8 mar 71]
 San Antonio, Garden, McNay Art Museum Photo by Kathy Cuddy
This poem was the source of the title I chose for my recent Ebook, "Pushing Clouds Against the Wind." I remembered the line when thinking of a title for the book, but couldn't remember the poem and couldn't find it when I looked for it. If I'd found I suppose I'd included it in the book.
random passes at self-knowing
1 I'm not one to look far for adventure
not anymore
I like closer to home things
familiar things prized for their knownness
I like the people I know, people who know me and calibrate their expectations accordingly
2 I have been the center of attention, a familiar face to many whose faces I did not know
the cheap seats are for me, now, the ones in the shadows where all faces blend to gray and indivisibility
3 I want to be a cloud that passes through the sky, impressed no more by the appearance of my shadow below
I want to feel the truth of my insubstantiality, that I only am what the winds make of me
I would have fought that knowledge in days past, but there's another truth I know now -
no one can push a cloud against the wind
 San Antonio, Mission San Jose Photo by Kathy Cuddy
The next poem is by Spanish poet Gabriel Celaya, taken from the anthology Roots & Wings, Spanish Poetry 1900-1975. The book was published by White Pine Press in 1976. It is a bi-lingual book, Spanish and English on facing pages. The poem I selected was translated by Robert Mezey and Hardie St. Martin (who also edited the anthology).
Gabriel Celaya, pen name of Rafael Mugica, was born in 1911 and died in 1991. He was a novelist, essayist and translator, as well as a poet. He received numerous awards for his poetry, even though his simple and direct language was disdained by his generation of poets in Spain.
The Life One Leads
The cabin gives off the odor of scrubbed wood and strong kitchen soap. Outside, the sun buzzes like a dense swarm of mad mosquitoes. Te door carves out a blinding square of light and lays it down as proof on a Euclidean pine table where it burns orange and glazes an edge of porcelain, leaving the rest of the shack in a blackness of greens and violets.
On a narrow mattress, warm in its stench, someone named Pedro is snoring monotonously. His sour idiot spittle broods sadly over the world with toothless gums and stale wheezes, with tattered blasphemies and a long slow tongue.
At six in the evening when the Express goes by, waking nostalgia (bright steel, flashes, burning road that mounts the emptiness), the man Pedro gets to his feet, hitches his suspenders, splashes some water on his face and stares into his rough hand with its short clumsy fingers at ten small coins, ten glasses of cheap wine.
Down at the ruined house, when he comes back drunk, Adela may be waiting for others who have more money (you understand, a little more). And Adela's a good chick. Adela will come to Pedro's shack if he wants her to, and he's sure to, if he's been drinking.
Beautiful slow moon, night like a river seen from its bed, the soft heavy breeze, Adela's hips and thighs when she starts to tremble, and th ice inside him that no one has ever thawed, and the cheap wine, and Adela who wordlessly fixes breakfast.
One day he finally says, "Adela,let's get married" (Adela is frightened, but she always says okay.) And the man Pedro listens to the Express roar by (bright steel, flashes, burning road that mounts the emptiness), and he feels a tenderness, and the immense chill deep inside, and vague longings, and disgust. And he thinks that's Adela, white, sweet, in her slip.
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
They're smarter than we are, so what can we do about it?
a brief history of cats and the human race
there are 600 million housecats in the world spread from pole to pole from all the way east to all the way west and they all descend from one of five female wildcats who in the barely historical mid-east noticed that filthy- living human-kind were vermin magnets and that living off the vermin who lived wherever humans lived was a hell’uv a lot easier than trying to chase down prey in the wild
and thus did the cat domesticate itself on its own terms & conditions and thus did little pussy- puss assume her smart-ass air of feline superiority and if you know the whole story it’s hard to argue with them
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
Here are several short poems by Richard Brautigan from The Edna Webster Collection of Undiscovered Writings, published by Houghton Mifflin in 1999.
Brautigan, who was born in 1935 and died in 1984, was author of ten novels, including his best known Trout Fishing in Amerrica and nine books of poetry.
The poems in this book were given by the young Brautigan to Edna Webster, the mother of his best friend and first girlfriend as he left Eugene, Oregon for literary success in San Francisco. He told Webster that the gift would be her "social security."
against conformity and averageism
I hate,
because they are evil as habitual hunger in a child's stomach,
people who try to change man the hunter for truth into a castrated cow grazing in the peace of mental death.
maggots eating my brains
The maggots will eat the brains that felt and wondered and wrote these poems.
Let the maggots have their fun.
They only live once.
all the cities at once
Pretend is a city bigger than New York. bigger than all the cities at once.
a memory of life will be frozen in my eyes
The heads of white chickens lie in the mud and rain.
A memory of life is frozen in their eyes.
I wonder what their last thought was as their heads were chopped off.
phantom kiss
There is no worse hell than to remember vividly a kiss that never occurred.
white tiger and enchanted cave
I am a white tiger made out of peppermint.
There is an enchanted cave in your body that I must enter, so that chills will travel in new buses up and down our spines as we stare at our very own baby
the death of time
Someday time will die, and Love will bury it.
 San Antonio, Mission Espada Photo by Kathy Cuddy
Here's another road poem, a short one this time. It looks like I was probably on the road somewhere in West Texas.
road sign
1 driving due east directly into the early sun on a flaming sea of orange glare and haloed silhouettes
2 vulture circles overhead rising with desert heat falling between shadowed canyon walls
3 snake crosses ahead of me head swaying left and right, pulling its long body behind, slowly slithers behind a boulder beside the road
 New Orleans Photo by Dan Cuddy
The next poem is by Daniel Donaghy, from his book, Street Fighting Poems, published in 2005 by BkMk Press of the University of Missouri-Kansas City.
Donaghy's poems have appeared in numerous journals and he has received a number of honors and awards, including from the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Cornell Council for the Arts, and the Constance Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts. He received a B.A. fromn Kutztown university, an M.A. from Hollins College, and an M.F.A. in creative writing (poetry) at the University of Rochester. At the time his book was published, he completing a Ph.D. in English at the University of Rochester.
Fresh Start: Staining the Pool Deck
Again I set aside half the day to put another coat on the pool deck, again the gloves, again the stain can and the beer can, fingers only half an ache because I passed the brush between hands each twenty strokes, one useful thing my father taught me while I whitewashed the hall steps in the rowhouse I left half my life ago, house of nicotine and dog hair, house he left us alone in on a street of houses rotting against each other like teeth, house so far from this half-acre I have to squeeze my eyes to see it - ripped linoleum, cracked walls, dirt cellar of rats and mold, nights of yelling behind doors...
Hal a life later I'm trying to get to the next day, after the deck dried, when we swam in the finally blue water. I'm trying; to work the float into this, and th;e inner tubes, the handstands, the red and yellow beachball. Enough about my long-dead father, food stamps, government cheese. What about my wife asleep cross-legged in the Adirondack chair, my daughter's brilliant pink suit, the gray fox panting at the wood's edge? And what about how cold the beer was, how bright the sun over the crab apple tree when I sank to the soundless bottom.
 San Antonio, King William District Photo by Kathy Cuddy
I close this week with thoughts of a kind of friendship.
here come da judge
turns out I was thinking of the judge on my way here and when I get here there he is
haven’t seen him or his lady-friend here in a couple of months, and was wondering what happened to them
turns out the lady-friend got converted to the Weight Watchers creed and goes to meeting every morning and the kind of breakfast she used to have every morning is a kind of blasphemy to the svelte and hungry congregations and she’s trying to be true to her oath of constant craving and restricts herself in the morning to tiny portions of scrambled tofu and carrot juice and the judge, believing still in the wolf theory of dietary responsibility - eat all you can whenever you can, bloody, if possible - has been stopping by her place for coffee every morning, and, today after watching her tofu-torture as long as he could stomach it, returned here to his good-old-days feed lot for three fresh eggs and several varieties of pig on a platter and I’m happy to see him cause, you know, I’ve missed the competition of who could get here first in the morning, as well as the four or five words we said to each other every morning when we got here because he’s a friend, on the friendship scale, somewhere slightly above or slightly below your Facebook friend who is the friend of a friend of a friend who you never heard of before you got his “be my friend” message and so he’s got 7,000, working on 10,000, other Facebook friends but a friend is a friend, and you can never have too many friends so I went over to the judge and said howdy-do and heard the story of his gradually diminishing girl-friend
 San Antonio, Mission San Antonio de Valero (The Alamo) Photo by Kathy Cuddy
That's all. Everything belongs to them who made it.
I'm allen itz, owner and producer of this blog since Issue 1, May, 2006. (Funny, I could have sworn it was May, 2005.)
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What the Women Have to Say About It Friday, May 20, 2011
VI.5.4.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
It's an all-female post this week, except me (some things I will not give up for my art). All my poets are women, as is my guest photographer, Erin Neutzling, a young friend who has been teaching English in Paraguay for the past year and a half. I have some of her pictures from Asuncion, Paraguay's capitol and commercial and arts center, where she lives and works, along with some thirty percent of the country's 6 million population. I also have pictures from her visits to Columbia and Peru.
Along with Erin's photos, here is my crew of poets for the week.
Against Poetry
After Long Rain
Omen
Me
the night I got chased out of Mexico
Marge Piercy
Your eyes where I float
Expecting
Me
business breakfast
Natasha Tretheway
Letter
After Your Death
Me
colors
From the anthology New European Poets
Kristin Dimitrova
A Visit to the Clockmaker
Ruxandra Cesereanu
The Killer
Evelyn Schlag
Lesson
Me
night lays in
Anita Scott Coleman
Black Baby
Me
watching the fat man sleep
From the anthology Risk, Courage, and Women
Bonnie Lyons
walking out
Valerie Bridgeman Davis
free
Me
Listening to Johnny Cash
Little Richard at the supermarket
Kay Kelley
A What??!!
Me
another day
Wistawa Szymborska
A Large Number
Me
Austin, 6th Street, 1 a.m.
Laurie Lico Albanese
I Hid
Me
what if I’m my evil twin
Mahadevi
Several verses (From Women Poets from Antiquity to Now)
Me
a gift of love
post-it note romance
From Breaking Silence, an Anthology of Contemporary Asian American Poets
Tina Koyama
Grape Daiquiri
Cyn. Zarco
What the Rooster Does Before Mounting
Me
my comic era
Barbara Evans Stanish
The Clearing
Inside Outside
Me
if I don’t see you tomorrow...
Photo by Erin Neutzling
I start this week with three poems by Sandra M. Gilbert.The poems are from her book Kissing the Bread, New and Selected Poems, 1969-1999. The book was published by W.W. Norton in 2000.
Gilbert was born in New York City in 1936. Currently, Professor Emerita of English at the University of California, Davis, she is an influential literary critic and poet who has published widely in the fields of feminist literary criticism, feminist theory, and psychoanalytic criticism.
Against Poetry
Suddenly I too see
why everybody hates it -
the manifestos of metaphor, the mad
voice that mumbles all night in the dark: this is like that, that
is this, the phosphorescent
flares of vision, the busyness
of words sweeping up
after all that sputter...
When the princess spoke toads
everybody loathed her,
but when her mouth spouted jewels
it was hardly better:
Not much difference,muttered the courtiers,
between a slide of slime, of jumpy
lumps on the table,
and a spurt of little glittering pellets
hitting you in the eye!
It would be better all around
if that lady kept her shapely
lips
tightened on nothing.
After Long Rain,
when I walk through the wind break
I feel words rising from the ground
as if in this sudden hush some mild heat
trembled from the buried center,
or as the earth around old roots
had washed away to let odd colonies -
rings of fungus,circles of iris -
scramble up from soil and stone...
I have to hold out my hands, spread
my fingers like divining rods.
Even the skin of my palms
hears the new growth humming.
Is this what it means to be
the one who has to speak,
the one they sent alone into the forest
to find the wild mushrooms?
Omens
A sky electric with geese.
My sudden pulse.
You're coming. Back.
The rumor of your return
bearing down like the great wheels
of a jet descending.
You to whom a glittering
splash of sparrow,
a shriek of jay,
are minor portents.
You who have never entirely gone away.
You who have never been completely here.
You're coming.
Your enormous baggage of light and clouds
littering the mountains,
your shadowy ladders
unscrolling sentences
step after step
Even the least shiver of my breathing
seized and used
in the shrill wind of your arrival.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Here's my first piece of the week, a story-poems; the poem from 2007, the story from 1965.
the night I got chased out of Mexico
this
is a story
about the time
I got chased out of
Mexico
by a posse
of Mexican taxi cabs
I was a young guy
just old enough
to get a taxi license
and I was driving
cab
on the Texas side
of the border
I picked up a fare
outside
one of the hotels
who wanted
to go to Mexico
and I said
hell yes
cause it was about
35 miles,
and at 35 cents
for the first mile
and 10 cents a mile
thereafter
it was a pretty good
pay-off
of which I’d get
a third
which never was
a hell’uv a lot
most nights
but better for a
trip
like this
so we headed out
down 281
for Matamoros
through Brownsville
and across the bridge,
from where I knew
how to go two places
Boys Town
about which, me being
a respectable elder fellow, we
will speak no more
and the central plaza
which was close
to the Mercado
and lots of good
nightclubs
good food
music
and floorshows
with sometimes
naked women
and that’s where
the fella I was
carrying
wanted to go
so we went there
and I dropped
him off at the main plaza
and while he paid me
I noticed all
the Mexican cabbies
giving me the eye
and I noticed
when I left
some of those
Mexican cabs
started following
behind
and then I noticed
I had ten to fifteen
Mexican cabs
riding my back
bumper
and I said to myself
oh shit
I fucked up
and the way
they were following
close and honking
it looked pretty clear
that they were
pissed
about whatever
it was I did,
so I took off
for the bridge
as fast as I could
trying to remember
as I flew
which of the many
one way streets
in Matamoros
were going my way
and which were going
to either get me lost
of back to the plaza
where more trouble
was sure to be
waiting
and when I reached
the bridge
I tossed my 8 cents
bridge fee
to the Mexican
border guard
without
hardly stopping
when I got back
my dispatcher
told me the rules -
cabs don’t cross
borders,
fares are dropped
at the bridge
where they can
walk across
and get a local
cab
so
I really felt dumb
and never did that
again,
though one time
I did pick up a guy
at the bridge
who had been in
jail
in Matamoros
for three days
and was beat
all to shit
and bleeding and
barely conscious
I took him home
and dropped him off
at the hospital
and his friend
who had gone
to Matamoros
to get him out
of jail
and had ridden
back with him
gave me a $2
tip
which was pretty
good
for the time
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Next, here are two poems by Marge Piercy, from her book The Twelve-Spoked Wheel Flashing, published in 1980 by Alfred A. Knopf.
Piercy, born in Detroit in 1936, Detroit, was the first in her family to attend college. She studied at the University of Michigan. Winning a Hopwood Award for Poetry and Fiction in 1957 made it possible for her to complete her bachelor's degree, then spend some time in France, Afterward, she obtained an M.A. from Northwestern University.
She is the author of a number of novels and poetry collections.
Your eyes where I float
Fetched from the airport with my hair unraveled,
the eyes of strangers sticking to my fancy
best coat like dying oysters, self after self
trapped, abandoned in the magician's camera cave
saying fast and slow the responses
shaken form my bones' dice and rambling out
random as teeth on the green baize table
of the media, I am thin
onion skin that shreds in the hand.
The airport wind rattles my slats
where all the words have died
like seedlings deprived of water.
I am glass nobody. Shame steams up my windows.
Then on a mattress on a Cambridge floor
while the snow comes down lie all those
hasty words I spoke, inside drawn blinds
you fingerpaint me. And eye, a nose,
a mouth, two thighs,red, plum, pale
blue, ivory, puce, black,you layer me,
you build me stroke by stroke.
An embryo I float in your eyes.
Slowly my body swells, the frozen
surface breaks and runs down in sweat.
Our laughter clambers to the ceiling
rampant as a grapevine. How was your trip
you ask, and I say, okay
and stop your mouth so you do not
ask me anything, anything at all
in words.
Expecting
It is a birthday present
that comes in the mail
with no sender you can guess,
only the opaque
company name, that could sell
jewels or long underwear.
It is a dream you almost
remember on waking, and then
in midday it crosses,
a bird flushed from cover
streaking through a clearing
too fast to see the color
but yes,you know it.
It cries now, deep
in the woods.
It is a sunrise flush
warming my breasts
under the shirt, and the constant
effort not to jump up and down
and splatter questions
when your name is said
It is knowing I do
not know you but I will.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Stepping back from the old days for a minute, here's a poem from last week.
business breakfast
there is a large crowd,
ten diners,
on several tables pushed
together
a breakfast business
meeting
it seems, for a congregation
of insurance agents, (my guess,
they look like insurance people) mostly
men
in dress shirts and ties
and a couple of women
frantically
over-compensating
for lack of male genitalia
at the end of the table
a very large
red-faced man
who appears to be the boss,
pontificating
with the assurance of a person
genetically in the dark
most off the time,
telling sleep-deprived staff
all about the Shinola
he don’t know
shit
from, and beside him
a mid-thirties blond, well-put-together,
who has a 17-year old daughter
at home
who’s driving her nuts
with skimpy dresses and good-for-nothing
boyfriends,
all this exposed to the world
before the meeting started, and now that it
has, reveals herself to be
the boss’s carry-on brain, taking over
his Shinola punditry
to put the meeting to order,
providing such business as there
was scheduled to be
at this early morning business meeting
apparently
the other eight at the table
know
who knows
what needs to be known
because their droopy-eyed attention
to the boss’s Shinola
is immediately replaced by edge-
of-their-chair attention
when she starts talking, chewing
reduced to a roar,
petite and silent little chomp chomps
as eggs and bacon and toast
slide quietly and respectfully down
alert and thoughtful gullets
I have been
to -
convened even -
many such meetings, sat
at the head of many such tables
spouting my own Shinola,
killing time
until
my nearby brain finishes
her poached egg and fat-free milk
and sets herself
to take care of business -
my job done for
the day
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Two poems by Natasha Trethewey, from her 2007 Pulitzer Prize winning book Native Guard. The book was published by Houghton Mifflin.
Trethewey was born in 1966 in Gulfport, Mississippi. She earned the B.A. in English from the University of Georgia, an M.A. in poetry from Hollins University (Virginia), and an M.F.A. in poetry from the University of Massachusetts-Amherst. She currently holds the Phyllis Wheatley Distinguished Chair in Poetry at Emory University.
Letter
At the post office, I dash a note to a friend,
tell her I've just moved in, gotten settled, that
I''m now rushing off on an errand - except
that I write errant, a slip between letters,
each with an upright backbone anchoring it
to the page. One has with it the fullness
of possibility, a shape almost like the O
my friend's mouth will make when she sees
my letter in her box; the other, a mark that crosses
like the flat line of your death, the symbol
over the church door, the ashes on your forehead
some Wednesday I barely remember.
What was I saying? I had to cross the word out,
start again, explain what I know best
because of the way you left me: how suddenly
a simple errand, a letter - everything - can go wrong.
After Your Death
First, I emptied the closets of your clothes,
threw out the bowl of fruit, bruised
from your touch,left empty the jars
you brought for preserves. The next morning,
birds rustled the fruit trees, and later
when I twisted a ripe fig loose from its stem,
I found it half eaten, the other side
already rotting, or - like another I picked
and split open, being taken from the inside:
a swarm of insects hollowing it. I'm too late,
again, another space emptied by loss.
Tomorrow, the bowl I have yet to fill.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Not always stuck in long stories, here's a series of short poems I wrote in 2007, a "color" series.
colors
red
blood
on white paper,
bright red,
like an apple
on a bed of
snow
yellow
lemons overflow
a pewter
bowl,
roll across the floor,
crying
caution....caution
blue
blue eyes
under clear
skies
ice
on crystal
green
salt water
and concrete
collide
froth bubbles green -
dragon scales
in the gulf
black
black
was the life
that drove
the knife
that pierced
the heart
of my
darling
mad
a
line
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Here are three poets from the anthology, New European Poets, published in 2008 by Graywolf Press.
The first poem is by Bulgarian poet Kristan Dimitrova. Born in 1963, Dimitrova is a professor of foreign languages at the University of Sofia. She has published eight books of poetry and two prose books and has received many honors for her work, including the 2003 Association of Bulgarian Writers Poetry of the Year Award.
Her poem was translated by Gregory O'Donoghue.
A Visit to the Clockmaker
I crossed the street
to enter a secret shop
where hundreds of hands grind time.
Charted small faces leave aside their arguments
about missing moments & start
ticking reproachfully, peep
out of three walls with shelves. Two alarm clocks
ponderously hurdle the minutes.
A grandfather clock with a pendulum necktie
shows me the way.
A sunbeam
inscribes on the counter
its own vision of accuracy.
Down there, the clockmaker
is tinkering with the open intestines
of a disbatteried body.
His door rang its bell.
"A new timepiece?"
I dislike giving false hope
so I said, "A new chain, please."
Then thought, One who will manage to slice
time into amazingly thin straps
and thus make good use of his life
will be the happiest of us all.
The clockmaker raised his gaze
& would not agree.
The next poem from the anthology is by Romanian poet Ruxandra Cesereanui. She was born in 1963 in Cluj-Napoca, the cultural center of Transylvania and published her first book, a "micro-novel" the same year Romanian communism fell. She has published several collections of poetry since.
Her poem was translated by Adam J. Sorkin and Claudia Litvinchievici, with the poet's participation.
The Killer
She can't. The woman. Can't.
The fish of her heart no longer breaths.
Its scales seep red, stain the moonlight.
She kills her machinery of birth,
her frenzied thighs rising as high as the sky,
her nights and days ripped to rags.
Sinful but alive,
light camouflaged under her skin like ground glass,
she stays in the tunnel.
A girl sleeps an arsenic sleep
in the emergency room.
Killer, I lick the oily heart's honeycomb from my lips!
Your face strobed by sleep's flicker,
you flee through the garden, smeared with rain,
and strike against the buoy.
Old tigress, you who kill behind bars, you've fled.
You know He can see you from aloft -
God the Plush, God the Slasher.
Like a mad nun, you wander,
your head pungent with blood,
deposits of blood you can smell
all the way from the kingdom of heaven.
The believers adore you with their eyes, tongues lolling,
drooling Pavlovian dogs.
Devoid of grace, you yourself are a topsy-turvy chapel.
You descend upon them like a spider at sunset.
On your bosom, black lilies.
Your teeth, white as tombstones,
purify altars and famed steeples.
The hooves of the murdered stampede over my body,
dripping musk, crippling me.
Killer, from your throat a dying city rattles its death rattle.
The silence grinds out luminescence in lambent silence.
I should sip champagne. Cross myself.
My last poem from the book is by Evelyn Schlag. The Austrian poet was born in 1952 and has received many honors and awards for her work.
Her poem was translated by Karen Leeder.
Lesson
I wanted to list
What I have learned
How I hold a cool
Name in my hand when
I touch the doorknob how
I turn the road sign around
Kill the fish by striking'
Their heads on the stone
I have practiced till I have
The knack and how I change
Dresses while the splashes of
Gill-blood are drying
from red to black
The cat which was sitting
On my lap laid his paw
On the back of my hand
And I did not know whether
It was too calm me or because
He so believed in the dead fish
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Returning to the present again, I wrote this one last week, celebrating a wonderful early summer night.
night lays in
night
lays in
with a sigh
like an old woman
pulling bed covers up to her chin
breeze
rustles trees
like featherdusters
brushing the stars, frogs
come alive in the creek, nighthawks hunt…
on my patio
I strip down, lay back in my chair,
and join the frog-symphony, imagine
the fresh, cool mud
between a catalogue of reeds
on the rain-freshened creek-side,
imagine the blood-tasty mosquito caught
on my long green tongue,
settle,
squish into the
singing
night
Photo by Erin Neutzling
My next poem is from another anthology, Shadowed Dreams, Women's Poetry of the Harlem Renaissance. The book was published in 1989 by the Rutgers University Press.
The poem is by Anita Scott Coleman about whom little is know other than that she was born in Mexico and worked as a school teacher.
Black Baby
The baby I hold in my arms is a black baby.
Today I set him in the sun and
Sunbeams danced on his head.
The baby I hold in my arms is a black baby.
I toil and cannot always cuddle him.
I place him on the ground at my feet.
He presses the warm earth with his hands,
He lifts the sand and laughs to see
It flow through his chubby fingers.
I watch to discern which are his hands,
Which is the sand...
Lo...the rich loam is black like his hands.
The baby I hold in my arms if a black baby.
Today the coal-man brought his coal.
Sixteen dollars a ton is the price I pay for coal. -
Costly fuel...though they say: -
Men must sweat and toil to dig it from the ground.
Costly fuel...Tis said: -
If it is buried deep enough and lies hidden long enough
"Twill be no longer coal but diamonds...
My black baby looks at me.
His eyes are like coals,
They shine like diamonds.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Here's another old poem, a kind of a story, I guess, with, at least, some of the elements of a story.
watching the fat man sleep
several years older
then me,
five or so inches
shorter
and 100-150 pounds
heavier,
he’s sitting at a table
in the coffee shop,
across the room
from me,
catty-corner
to the chair,
legs wide apart
belly
hanging between
them,
a little white slice
of skin
showing
between his t-shirt
and his pants
waiting
for his wife
would be my guess,
he has that look,
eyelids droopy
until finally they close
and his breathing
settles and
slowly
so slowly
he begins to tilt
to the side
until finally he’s
very close
to that point
where gravity
will exercise its full
force,
but
just then
he wakes, blinks,
straightens in his chair
and just as quickly
his eyes begin to droop
again
and we’re in a race
between
his wife’s need to shop
and that old devil
gravity
I wait
for him to hit the floor
(and noticed I am not the only one)
but he gets the breaks
this time
and his wife shows up just as
gravity prepares to announce itself,
and she shakes him
impatiently
until his eyes
clear, stuck wide open
like eyes do
when surprised or
when working very hard
not to close
and
together
they walk out the door
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Next, I have two poets from the anthology Risk, Courage, and Women, published by the University of North Texas Press in 2007.
The first poem is by Bonnie Lyons, a professor of English at the University of Texas at San Antonio.
Lyons received her BA from Newcomb College and her MA and PhD from Tulane University. She has taught at Newcomb College, Boston University, as a Fulbright Visiting Professor at the Institute for American Studies in Rome, the University of Florence, the University of Haifa, the University of Athens, and the University of Tel Aviv, as well as a Fulbright Senior Lecturer at Aristotorelain University and Central and Autonoma Universities in Barcelona.
walking out
I know what you think:
weak and disobedient
vulnerable - duped
by the wily serpent.
Think again.
Our life in Eden was an idyl -
no work, no struggle,
an unbroken expanse
of pleasure,
a garden
of perpetual plenty.
We were protected children,
and I was bored.
When the serpent told me
eating the fruit of that tree
would make me wise
I hesitated
like any child
about to walk out
of her parent's domain.
Had I foreseen
that my first son
would kill his brother -
but who knows the future?
Biting into the sweet fruit
meant entering the world
of time and death
adventure, change, possibility
including the possibility
of murder.
I chose life.
I would again.
Do you wish
you were never born?
Do you wish to be
a child forever?
Then celebrate my wisdom.
The second poem is by Valerie Bridgeman Davis, a native of the American South. She teaches at a seminary where she directs the arts and theology institute.
Free
Don't go
his words
whispers of chance and change
dangle on her lobes
like heirloom earrings
from her grandmother's
jewelry box
His words
promise and chains
to the life she
has come
to long
to leave
and now,
his words are charms,
narcotic antidote
to her first attempts
at freedom -
if she does not go
this time,
she will never
leave
I must
her words
echoes of resolute and resistance
hang in the air
like perfume
from his mother's
chest of drawers
Her words
promise and release
from the life he
has come
to leave
in longing
and now,
her words are spells,
herbal remedy
to his last attempts
at repentance -
if he does not succeed
this time
he will never win
The risk
too grat to stay
too daunting to let go
she leaves
he longs
they are both free
to try again.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
From 2007, two poems about two of my favorites from American popular music. Part of why I like them so much, in addition to their songs, is the way they are both so unique and so much alike, twin souls from opposite ends of the universe, meeting.
Listening to Johnny Cash
listening to Johnny Cash
makes me believe,
not in God -
I am too much
a rationalist
for that -
but in the possibility
of an alternate
universe,
seen through
his eyes
created through
his faith,
where God is present
and accounted for
in the lives
of people
like you and me
cause
if I was picking
gods
I’d want the one Johnny Cash
talked to
in his songs
Little Richard at the supermarket
one thing everybody
wondered about
in 1955
was Little Richard
queer
or just a fancy dresser
one thing
they all knew
he was the devil’s spawn
singing
the devil’s music
that’s why
we loved him
and everyone
with any vestige of authority
hated him and all the rest
we burned up
our tinny little 45 record players
with his music, along with
Jerry Lee Lewis
and Chuck Berry
and all the other
colored
guys,
dangerous guys,
not from our part of
town
we loved these guys
because their music made us move
like Doris Day never did,
because we were sure
every crazy, wild-assed thing
we were afraid to do
they had already done,
because they scared
the crap
out of our parents
and anything that scared
the crap
out of our parents
must be the goddamn
greatest thing
we could ever do
and while we bopped
and hopped in the gym
churches were having
devil burning parties,
tossing records into the fire
just like they had tossed
our comic books in the fire
a couple of years earlier
now the comics are collectibles
and Little Richard rocks and rolls
through the sound system
in supermarket aisles,
right over the denture cream
support hose
and little liver pills
Good Golly, Miss Molly
sometimes
we forget we won
Photo by Erin Neutzling
I said that the beginning that this was an all woman issue. And so it is, including even this cowboy poet, Kay Kelley from Santa Fe, New Mexico. She began to write cowboy poetry after her husband, a poet who wrote about his experiences as a horse trainer and cowboy, died.
Her poem is from the anthology, New Cowboy Poetry, a Contemporary Gathering, published in 1990 by Gibbs-Smith Publisher.
American cowboy poets have had their annual "gatherings" since 1985. The next one is scheduled to be in Texas, February, 2012.
The What??!!
The honeymoon was in full swing.
We settled in in Santa Fe.
The cowgirl starting a brand new life
After our wedding day.
I'd been picked up in the pasture
By my handsome "Man of the West."
One early morn, I questioned him
While cuddled in our love nest.
"You had told me you're a big ranchowner
Back when you were courting me.
Well, now that the wedding's over
Those ranches I'd like to see."
"Why sure," he said, "I'll be right back."
As he leaped out of the bed.
"This here's my 36-inch wrench.
The 24's are in the shed."
"A wrench owner is what you meant?"
I choked in disbelief.
"Yes, I'm a Master Plumber."
His pride added to my grief.
Now, my heroes had all been cowboys
That stirred my romantic soul.
And I had never seen John Wayne
Playing a plumber's role.
Trying to restore my faith in hm
This revelation began to destroy,
I asked him about Joe Lemon's ranch
Where he'd worked summers as a boy.
"How many cows did Joe Lemon run?"
"Two - two milking Holsteins."
"No, how many cows out on the range
Where you cowboyed in your teens?"
"Oh, it was a sheep ranch," he replied.
My heart went numb in shock.
"I married a sheep-herding plumber!"
The shriek could be heard for blocks.
Too late to run, the vow was made,
I tried to carry on.
When friends would ask, "How's married life?"
My answer was, "I was conned."
"The Sting" wasn't in it with my guy.
He'd employed every trick and ruse.
His morals and scruples were shiny clean,
They never had been used.
Through the years I've come to know him well,
As we lope through life together.
I've ridden many a mile with him
In both good and stormy weather.
The honeymoon's still in full swing
He's my partner and best friend.
I'm thankful now that I got conned
Things worked out best in the end.
So I'll stick with my sheep-herding plumber
Right into eternity.
For "he'll do to ride the river with"
And he sure is special to me.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Earlier I wrote of a wonderful mid-summer evening. Now here's the next wonderful mid-summer morning.
another day
the dim light
of a thinly overcast
dawn
filters yellow
light
into the air and across
the trees and pastures and
commuter-rush…
looking out
from my breakfast perch
the day seems
a Chinese brocade, raised
golden thread
embroidered on thick fabric,
gilded scenes
of morning life wakened
to the silvered calls
of mourning doves softly
sweetly
singing songs of daylight’s
resurrection…
another day, they sing,
another sunrise,
another chance for me
and you
Photo by Erin Neutzling
My next poem is by Polish poet Wistawa Szymborska, 1996 winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature. She was born in Poland in 1923 and has lived there all her life, working as a poetry editor,columnist, and translator.
The poem is from Poems - New and Collected, 1957-1997, published by Harcourt in 1998. It was translated by Stanislaw Baranczak and Clare Cavanagh.
A Large Number
Four billion people on this earth,
but my imagination is still the same.
It's bad with large numbers.
It's still taken by particularity.
It flits in the dark like a flashlight,
illuminating only random faces
while the rest go blindly by,
never coming to mind and never really missed.
But even a Dante couldn't get it right.
Let alone someone who is not.
Even with all the muses behind me.
Non omnis moriar - a premature worry.
But am I entirely alive and is that enough.
It never was, and now less than ever.
My choices are rejections, since there is no other way,
but what I reject is more numerous,
denser, more demanding than before.
A little poem, a sign, at the cost of indescribable losses.
I whisper my reply to my stentorian calling.
I can't tell you how much I passover in silence.
A mouse at the foot of the maternal mountain.
Life lasts as long as a few signs scratched by a claw in the sand.
An echo's annexes overgrow the empty house.
I run from the doorstep into a valley
that is quiet, as if no one owned it,already an anachronism.
Why there's all this space inside me
I don't know.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
From 2007, remembering earlier days.
Austin, 6th Street, 1 a.m.
still
a good crowd out,
mostly
twenty-somethings
from the University,
enough business
to keep the bars
open
and the bands
playing
I came down
to listen to one
particular band
and enjoyed
their first set
but it’s awful
damn late
for an old
guy
so I’m heading
back
to my hotel
to hit the sack
can’t help
as I walk back
to my car
thinking back
40 years
when 6th street
after dark
was a good place
to get VD
or stabbed in the back
and not much else
it’s all changed
now
6th street
means
neon lights
and music
and lets face it
some weird looking
kids
and cops
on horses
keeping it
mostly quiet
and clean
for several
blocks around
the actual street
itself
and this late
with the tourists
gone to bed
and the state
people and the
business people
in town for meetings
gone to their rooms
to drink, it’s a quiet
scene, mellow,
and young -
the only people
I see my age
are begging
quarters
and cigarettes,
left-over
vague-eyed
burned-out
hippies
who took a
trip
in 1965
and never
made it back
it’s a trip
for me too
being here
watching
the scene
remembering
things change
but they always
stay
the same, more
or less...
that’s been my
experience
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Now I have a poem from Blue Suburbia, Almost a Memoir, a book of poems by Laurie Lico Albanese. The book was published HarperCollins in 2004.
Albanese is both a poet and fiction writer. She teaches creative writing to children in the Montclair, New Jersey school system and was awarded a 1997-98 New Jersey State Council in the Arts Fellowship in fiction.
I Hid
Nobody found me for years
they were too busy bowling,
bickering, hanging wallpaper
watching Jeopardy!
drinking pink wine
waiting for Christmas
and a new set of Corelle.
I hid in my closet
with the shoes,
in a snow fort
dug into the blizzard of '69
in the shadow of the jailhouse
for a whole summer
with Holden, Phoebe
and a bottle of calamine
I hid, no one saw me
until you came along
and we huddled under blankets
reading the unbearable lightness
you body bare on top of mine,
another place to hide
except you exhaled
and I sucked in your unused oxygen
your heart beat one deep gong
for every two notes of my own,
you pulled me naked
in front of the mirror
took my chin in your hands
and said, look,
look
and I saw something
altogether new -
I saw my center
filling.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Just a thought.
what if I’m my evil twin
there’s a kind of
Jeckle/Hyde theory
that suggests
we are all twined
in the world, the good
in us and the bad
of our potential
separated into two
beings who live
in contradiction
to each other
if this is true,
it is in our nature
to assume
we must be the
good twin,
but I’m thinking
maybe that’s wrong,
what if I’m the evil
twin who for years
has been fucking up
all the good done
through some other
guy’s good deeds,
undermining his life
by being the him
he doesn’t want
anyone to see
Holy Moley,
as Jimmy Durante
might say,
the possibilities is
flabbergasting
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Women poets weren't just born yesterday, you know. Like this 12th century poet, Mahadevi.
Born in Udutadi, India, Mahadevi was initiated into Siva worship at the age of ten, which she considered the real moment of her birth. She was apparently married at some point to the local King. Conflicted by the contrary pulls of divine and earthly love, she left her husband to live the life of a saint. Seeing her clothing as a concession to the male world, she threw it all away in a gesture of social defiance and wandered, her body covered only by her long hair. According to legend, she died when she was still in her twenties, described contemporaneously as a bright light briefly burning.
The verses I chose are from the anthology Women Poets From Antiquity to Now, published by Shocken Books in 1980. They were translated by A.K. Ramanujan.
Riding the blue sapphire mountains
wearing moonstone for slippers
blowing long horns
O Siva
when shall I
crush you on my pitcher breasts?
O lord white as jasmine
when do I join you
stripped of body's shame
and heart's modesty?
~~~
Other men are thorn
under the smooth leaf.
I cannot touch them,
go near them, nor trust them,
nor speak to them confidences.
Mother,
because they all have thorns
in their chest
I cannot take
any man in my arms but my lord
white as jasmine.
~~~
Would a circling surface vulture
know such depths of sky
as the moon would know?
would a weed on the riverbank
know such depths of water
as the lotus would know?
would a fly darting nearby
know the smell of flowers
as the bee would know?
O lord white as jasmine
only you would know
the way of your devotees:
how would these,
these
mosquitoes
on the buffalo's hide?
~~~
People,
male and female,
blush when a cloth covering their shame
comes loose.
When the lord of lives
lives drowned without a face
in the world, how can you be modest?
When all the world is the eye of the lord,
onlooking everywhere, what can you
cover and conceal?
Photo by Erin Neutzling
A couple of little-bitties to slip in sideways.
a gift of love
beautiful
flower
in a tall glass vase
dying
post-it note romance
U R
my
sunshine
N winter
& rain
on ev
ry
dry & dust
blown
day
'nuff said
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Next, I have two poets from Breaking Silence, an Anthology of Contemporary Asian American Poets, published in 1983 by the Greenville Review Press.
The first poet is Tina Koyama. I could find nothing of a biography, other than she does jewelery and enjoys baking bread.
Grape Daiquiri
Your cousin tells you it's like fruit juice,
what she always orders, and you let
the cool sweetness deceive your thirst,
placate your grumbling stomach.
At first you hardly notice the faces
moving in and out of focus,
the room lights dimming. Three sips more
and a waiter's white sleeve dissolves like sugar.
Beside you, your husband speaks from the far end
of a tunnel, repeating another fish-story
between gulps of his third V.O. and water.
You want to warn them - these smiling,
bobbing heads around the table -
warn them of the dangers, that the walls
melt and fall like icing on a cake,
but you know they won't hear you
for the droning of bees between your ears.
You try to shake them free, but the floor
sifts like four beneath your feet.
A chair fools you into thinking it's steady.
Bees pour honey down you eyes,
pull the color from your cheeks
and let it pool in the pockets of your knees.
Trying to remember when you've felt this way
before, you recall the thick sweetness of ether
smelled once for each daughter and son.
Curious, the things you think of last:
you children in another city, eating
ice cream or reading novels; a photo
of your mother framed above your desk;
the purple of the carpet as it rises
to soften your fall.
The second poet from the anthology is Cyn. Zarco, a poet-journalist based in New York City.
What the Rooster Does Before Mounting
Gustavo said,
"Your poems are like samba,
some even tango with the page
as if part of some strange ritual -
what the rooster does before mounting."
Gustavo said,
"In Argentina, I was in love
with Che. Even my father,
the old prick, gave him money."
Then said Gustavo,
"You did not choose me; I chose you."
and made me sit down while he took over
my kitchen.
I sat in a yellow chair
and watched him chop vegetables -
carrots bell pepper onions
Photo by Erin Neutzling
This is a poem pretty much like my life, where I ramble around from one thing to another until I finally get back to where I started.
my comic era
I feel today
like the advertisements
that used to be on the back
of comic books,
sloppily inked
and highly improbable…
and
speaking of inked,
I saw a very pretty young woman
yesterday,
small,
dark hair, short,
dark eyes, wide, finally arched brows,
lips
plump and, I’m sure,
luscious,
both arms
inked
from wrist to shoulder
and I thought -
what a shame…
I love the look of skin
as nature made it, the feel of it,
the smell of it
fresh from a shower,
the taste of it
salty with sweat from an afternoon
in the sun, I love
young skin, taut with the fullness of youth,
and old skin as well, wrinkles
like waves
in an open sea
teeming…
believing
no tattoo artist
can improve on the canvas
he paints…
and speaking of art,
I visited a museum last week,
dedicated to the visual arts of ink
and watercolor and oils and paper shapes
and glass and ceramic and tiny and monumental
sculpture and, taking more time than usual
for me, I studied the pieces and drew close to them
and searched for each little technicality of creation
then stepped back and
from across the room, saw, finally, the creation,
the before unrealized reality
the artist must have seen in his mind
before he took his first brush stroke or first struck
hammer to stone or first put scissor
or ink to paper
and I saw the truth
in its wholeness,
a product of its parts but greater
than the accumulation of its parts,
a new thing
born
from another’s mind to take my eye
and hold it…
and I think of how I
as a poet
often worship the parts,
the words
carefully chosen, the organics
of a body that I cannot
see until it’s complete
and how the reverse of artists
I am, never knowing the end
until I find it…
and I think of the advertisements
that used to be on the pack pages of
comic books,
haphazardly drawn and improbable,
yet still,
I think of the medicated salve
I tried to sell,
door to door, to my neighbors
when I was ten years old, a convert
to the cause of riches, seduced by the
advertisements there used to be
in the back pages of comic books
and their promises
and the instructions that I, as a poet,
followed in every detail,
instructions
that led, in the end, not
to the promised canvas of wealth
and success,
but to two dozen tins
of medicated salve left moldering
in my closet, along with my baseball glove
and model airplanes and other
dream factories of my
comic era
Photo by Erin Neutzling
For my last pieces this week from my library, I have two poems by Barbara Evans Stanush, from her book, Stone Garden, published in 1992 by Pecan Grove Press of St. Mary's University in San Antonio.
Stanush says she spent her first thirty years on the East Coast and the next thirty in South Texas where she worked as an educational consultant, a poet-in-the-schools, a newspaper columnist and writer.
The Clearing
Thin white cat circles me
without touching, enters
holes in the brush.
Muscles ride beneath fur.
As the sun draws up its weight
a bee veers by the sheet drying
on the line. Cars drone beyond.
In t5he clearing, clicks and
ticks. A bit of leaf shivers,
twirls on invisible threads,
turns to catch the darker
whisper of a stem. I smell the
underthrust of Spring, the must
of moldering leaves. It takes
more of me than I may have
to meet the underbrush.
The white cat widens spaces
where it stalks on silent
pads, keen to flashes
of lizard, of bird.
Leaving the clothesline to follow
I wonder whose world this is.
Inside Outside
A lizard slips in
through a crack
in the window.
A bat came in once too,
we don't know how.
The children woke at night
and screamed, "A moth,
a giant moth is in our room."
It sailed wide
around the light bulb,
I chased it
with a broom.
It shrilled an unreal note
and kept its orbit neat,
while the children screamed.
Then I broomed it out the door.
Photo by Erin Neutzling
Well, according to the preacher, as I write this, we're down to what they call on the ranch, the cutting day. So, if it turns out he's wrong, here's another poem.
in case i don't see you tomorrow...
so
it’s 6:43 in the a.m.
leaving us only eleven hours
and some odd minutes
to contemplate the beauties
of the late great university before
it all ends in big un-bang
or not
but I guess we’ll know
by the time the
Heat v. Bulls finals game
comes on tonight, or doesn’t,
and we’ll know for certain tomorrow
if we don’t see each other
which of us has punched their
rapture ticket
and which of us has started down
that steaming rocky road to hell, singing
with the Sex Pistols all the way…
as for myself,
informed on good authority
that in heaven there is no beer,
I’m kind of pulling for hell
where I expect the frosty mugs still
will flow, and where,
most probably, all my best friends
will be as well, and, if the choice
is to spend an eternity with them and
my favorite poets rather than with a bunch of goody
two-shoed candy cane crackers, I’m all for the hell option -
though I have to admit,
eternity with some of those romantic traditionalists
and a bunch of German expressionists
is somewhat daunting,
but I expect there’ll be a corner
somewhere
where I can huddle up with Whitman
and Ginsburg when
the roar of the “thee’s” and “thou’s”
becomes more than my stomach
can process…
and if all else fails,
I do expect Byron will be there
and i'm thinking he probably knows
where all most adventuresome floosies live
and I think I might enjoy
an extended
period
engaged with him in his idea of fun
Photo by Erin Neutzling
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I'm allen itz, owner and producer of this blog, traveling light and airy these days.
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